I've often found that in those occasional half hours that I do manage to grab for myself that deep relaxation recordings help me cope with the daily stress in my life and I suppose I first started reaching for them when I was a student. Studying for what seemd to be never-ending exams in the hope of achieving my dream of becoming an English teacher, it was often difficult to wind down at the end of the day.
As the years have gone by, many things have changed. I achieved my dream but found that full-time motherhood became more important to me and that's why I made the almost overwhelmingly difficult choice to stay at home full-time. Not that I made that choice deliberately I might add. When I went on maternity leave just before my second daughter was born, I fully intended on returning to the workplace. However, it just never happened. I briefly thought about how childcare would work out and couldn't bring myself to leave the children with strangers. My parents and my husband's parents had been more than eager to look after their first grandchild but with a second it was more difficult for them and I didn't even ask as I knew it would be too much.
It wasn't an easy decision to stay at home as I had always loved my work and got a great feeling of excitement from helping young people to learn, but it had physically pained me when I had initially left my first baby behind with one set of grandparents whilst I left to educate other children. Somehow, the decision to become a fulltime mother was made for me without me even realising it - it was only as the weeks at home became years at home that at some point I actually thought to myself how did that happen?
These days, with four children who demand my almost every moment, I often look back on what could have been had I managed to secure a permanent job in teaching as soon as I'd qualified. I probably wouldn't have found it just so easy to walk away, and in fact probably wouldn't have done so, but since my early teaching positions were always temporary I just never went back after the birth of my second daughter.
Looking back into my own past always causes me mixed feelings. I know in my heart I've often made what were difficult but ultimately the best choices I could have made at the time, yet I still wonder incessantly about how I could be more productive in society. My husband tells me what I do is enormously important - as a full-time mother, I'm the one who takes the children on medical appointments, nurses them if they're ill and I do most of the school work, all the school runs and house-keeping. But my mind often refuses to quieten, questioning many of the decisions I have made and continue to make.
Every day I look at working mothers and wonder how they manage and how I would have managed had that been the path I had ended up taking. I have many regrets but also many moments of clarity and when it all starts to become overwhelming help is never far away in the form of one of the many mp3 relaxation cds I have on my ipod. At the moment I'm enjoying some of my many Glenn Harrold recordings, in particular his solfeggio meditations series of which I have three. The recordings are based on an ancient sound system using certain frequencies which correspond to specific worries, stresses, hopes and dreams and I have found them remarkably effective and rather inspirational. Like many similar hypnotherapy/relaxation recordings, they start off helping you focus on breathing techniques which help you drift into a lovely deeply relaxed state before suggestions which help focus on problems or desires in your life. I usuallly fall into a deep sleep fairly quickly and usually awaken with a loud snore just as the recording ends!
What I really love about these recordings though is the background sounds and music, so much so that I actually bought myself a copy of just the background music which is composed and arranged by spiritual musician and healer Ali Calderwood, the man behind Anima.
I honestly find the music transforming. When I put it on I am immediately drawn into the most wonderful world, deep in my memory and imagination. I find the loveliest thoughts running through my mind and one track in particular affects me more that the rest. It is the second track on Sound Medicine: A transmission of the ancient solfeggio frequencies
I have found the entire album evokes emotions buried deep within me and am thoroughly enjoying listening to the music and noticing how it affects different parts of my body. Glenn Harrold, in his Solfeggio Meditations collection, suggests you listen to the music with your entire body and whilst this may sound very strange to say the least, it actually works. You know how sometimes if you're at a concert or just listening to a song that meant something to you when you were younger, you sometimes feel a tingle travel through you or the hair on the back of your neck stand up? Well, that's what Ali Calderwood's music does to you if you let your whole body listen to it.
Best of all, by the time you've finished listening to the track, or entire album as I have done on many occasions, you will feel like someone has cast a magic spell over you. I've found myself in tears during one or two listenings and felt lighter and healed afterwards. I'll definitely be buying more of the music and have also managed to convince both my sister and husband to listen and enjoy the cd I purchased.
Funnily enough, my husband was very big into dance and trance type music when he was younger and has likened the album to some of the music he enjoyed. He is now listening to Ali Calderwood on his bus journey home in the evenings and cannot believe how relaxing it is after a stressful day at work.
You can purchase a copy for yourself through the Anima website or via Amazon. I'll be counting down the hours until my daughter takes her afternoon nap before listening to my copy again :)
Oh, and by the way, you can listen to some of Ali's music via his website and even get a free track if you sign up to his mailing list. Let me know how you get on if you do go ahead and buy a copy.
